december 29th

me with my hula hoop!

i woke up early today and decided i would straighten my hair to measure it and see if it is close to 10 inches...so i can get it cut and donate it to locks of love!  it's only 8 1/2 inches. i really want it cut...now. i'm practicing patients.

the day at work started like any other at the office... i start up my computer and check the mail box outside while it starts up. today there was two envelopes in the box...like any one cares, i thought i would share. 

the morning went super fast and it was 12:30 before i even looked at the clock. mel had to run an errand in atlantic and suggested we go out to eat. i don't argue...she's the boss! we had chinese and i learned she enjoys egg drop soup. i however, can't stand the sight of it. gross! but...lunch was good and i warned mel about the candies that appear to be peppermint but really are cherry flavored. it happened to me again! she choose the same color and hers was peppermint and mine was cherry. be careful becca!

so she decides she better was her van. we went to all the car washes in atlantic and the lines were super long. what are the chances that 50 other people want to wash their vehicle at 1:30 in the afternoon in atlantic, iowa? i guess the chances are pretty good. she didn't want to wait and we headed back to elk horn.

we talk about such random stuff from death to traveling in elevators to what it might be like to be gay. very informative i might add. 

all day i listened to the office on netflix while i worked. mel loves the show and has been telling me to watch it. i must say i didn't like it at first. i really like the second season though. 

i forgot to mention that before lunch she gave me my christmas present...it was 3 jelly belly candles and a hula hoop. some might think that's really weird...but it's perfect. she told me that when she walked past the hula hoops she thought of me. and the candles were of course to make the office smell good!

the work day was over and i went to the library to see if there were any good movies to rent...and wall-e was finally there. i'll watch it tonight and report back to my blog.

i got home and showed matt my hula hoop and he re-acted like a guy and shook his head. i enjoyed the little day light left and played with my gift. sadly, i'm not as good as i was in fourth grade. but i'll determined to improve.

for dinner we just picked whatever left-overs we had in the fridge so we can get rid of them...i don't like to waste stuff.

i worked on business identity stuff for the rest of the night and listened to some more of the office videos on netflixs.

i had a migraine and went to bed early.

more tomorrow...

december 27th

matt and lilo taking a nap...

i don't think i stepped foot outside today. that's horrible. i was cold and needed to get stuff done inside.

not to much to blog about today...

i made a grocery list and my to-do list and got started on it around 11 am. what can i say i was feeling lazy but i knew i had stuff to get done.

i ended up scrubbing the bathroom, folding about six loads of laundry, dusting our bedroom and living room, vacuuming, sweeping, washing the floors, de-clutering each room and finishing up with the kitchen duties. matt helped with the laundry and i will forever be grateful. cory and matt worked on getting rid of clutter in the basement all day.

i don't remember what i had for lunch today. why is it that i never remember what i had for lunch? weird.

cory and matt re-grilled left-overs from friday night and a few others items of food and we enjoyed dinner.

matt and i watched the movie step brothers. it was raunchy. it was funny. it was what i was expecting. 

i read a little and went to bed.

more tomorrow...

december 26th

i made some salsa. matt thinks it rocks and i usually have some in the fridge at all times...

the day after christmas = another day to sleep in. i enjoyed cuddling with matt this morning since he didn't have to work. he used a vacation day to have a four day weekend. i think we slept until 1 in the afternoon. cory came over and woke us up. he does this at random times, all the time. but we love him.

i did nothing productive today. i went to my parents house and played with there toys again. and i went back home to find matt and cory making dinner on the grill. but they were only going to have meat and i sliced up some potatoes and steamed some asparagus from our garden last summer. cory had never tried asparagus and he enjoyed it. dinner was good and i then watched parenthood with steve martin in it and i wasn't impressed. i generally like all his movies...but not this one. 

matt and cory were on a "date" and i went to bed.

december 25th

lilo on christmas day digging in her stocking to see what santa left for her...

we slept in and we were a little late getting to mother marxen's house for lunch. go thing she was running behind too. we enjoyed a small family gathering and opened some presents and i hung out with sarah and got caught up with how she's been doing. she tells great stories and they always make me laugh. she brightens up my day. we were going to watch wall-e, but matt and i thought we should get going since we had to stop at my parents shortly and then get home to lilo to give her some medication. 

i never thought i would walk into my parents house and watch my mom playing baseball on a video game. she loves baseball but never has gotten into video games. she's good too! we were there only a short time and the younger kids had to show matt and i what santa brought them. and we played with them for a bit too. they are all so fun in their own ways, the kids that is.

we came home and realized we didn't get into our stockings that morning. so we exchanged those and had a good time. we didn't do gifts either, since matt just bought me a laptop and he just bought a shed and land. it's kind of nice not doing gifts too, it gives you more of a feel on what the holiday really means. next year we're going to adopt a family in need and i'm sure we'll enjoy that.

we didn't do anything for dinner, we were kind of snacking all day.

oh, funny story...matt went outside to get something and had just been in the basement. he noticed what he thought was lilo outside and tried catching the dog only to come running in the house and noticed lilo sitting on my lap. he was out of breath and confused. so funny, but i didn't know what he was running from or for! he forgets that our neighbor has a dog very similar to lilo and it was dark so he couldn't really tell. i'm still laughing about it!

anyways... matt went to go have a few beers at cory's house or twelve, i don't know. and lilo and i watched a movie on netflix, tiptoes with matthew mconeghy. he's gorgeous and it was a movie with litlle people in it to. i love little people but i didn't care to much for the movie. he has a little person son and doesn't want to be a father to him because he's little

. then we called it a night.

more tomorrow...

december 24th

today's picture is of lilo at my family christmas wondering what the hell is going on...

i almost over slept today! lilo had a vet check-up in atlantic at 9:30, dylan went with me. dr. leonard felt a bump on her back and recommended x-rays and i agreeed with him. but they take their x-rays to the hospital to be develpoed and they wouldn't be ready until 11 a.m. they kept her there to give her a quick bath and nail trimming. i'm glad dylan went with me, he kept me company while we browsed some stores and we got a sled to pull behind the 4-wheeler too. we ate an early lunch at subway and then headed back to the vet's office. they showed me her x-rays and concluded that she has arthritis and sponyalitis. she's very young to have eiather of these. there is nothing they can do medically except to prescribed pain killers to put her at ease. it breaks my heart to see her try to play or jump only to stummble. dylan has been wanting to make something out of wood, so friday i'll try and take him to fajen lumber in elk horn to get the materials needed for a ramp or steps. that should help out tons.

we arrive at my parents house and i played some board games with the kids and i was going to pull them on the sled with the 4-wheeler but i had a migraine, fun, fun! instead my dad did for a little bit. then we made 3 soups for christmas eve dinner and some sandwiches and the usual munchies. the kids were all dieing to open their presents, only to find out everything needed to be cleaned up and put away. i don't think they have ever tiddy up the house so fast! 

it was present time! my family didn't do anything for the adults this year. we decided that we all had everything we need and just to enjoy the holidays and enjoy the kids. my parents got each of the families a nintendo wii. it was so funny watching them open their gifts! my mom and i seperated the package contents and wrapped each of them up. and when they saw what each other had, they put the "pieces of the puzzle" together and freaked out. hilarious! they also enjoyed other gifts, but that was the highlight. 

the adults played a trival persuit game when the kids where downstairs playing tennis...bowling...whatever they wanted. then my sister and her family went home and we played a few more games and matt, lilo and i decided to go home around 11 pm. i was to tired this year to attend midnight services at church. so went we went to bed.

more tomorrow...

december 23rd

this is the new book that i'm reading.

rock on! we got done with the paper at noon! the morning went fast and i gave mel her gift, a paula dean kitchen set, ya'll! she loves her. i can only take so much but her happiness does make me smile. 

i went to my parents to help my mom wrap some presents and get them organized. that was done and i went home only to find out that bible study was cancelled again this week. ladies were sick and others were trying to get last minute holiday stuff done. darn! hopefully next week...

i took lydia's present out to her house and found that her car was stuck in her driveway. i offered to get her out but thought i should call matt instead. matt and cory came out and got her un-stuck. beth was at her house too. good thing i grabbed her gift when i was leaving. lydia made me a batch of snicker-doodle cookies to freeze and then bake whenever i want. those are my favorite cookies and she is an amazing cook to boot! 

i came home to find dylan watching tv and he scared the hell out of me. i didn't know he was at my house. jeeperz! anyway... he stayed the night and hung out with matt and they had a good time. we watched fred claus with vince vaungh...terrible movie. i don't recommend it. we had some ice cream while we were watching it then went to bed.

it seemed like it was a short day. i didn't do much.

december 22nd

this picture is of lilo after i gave her her medicine...she's really drugged. but she's doing better!

this date has a deep emotional meaning to me and i try not to let it get to me because i don't want others to make a big deal out of it. 

my dad stopped at my house before i went to work to say hi because he was in town, (something about dropping a tire off at the iron shop) and he started my durango for me! that made my dreaded day start off great. and i ate a sugar cookie on my way to work, no oatmeal today.

i get to work and i finally beat mel there...only to find out i was going to be there all morning by my lonesome. she had to take her son to his dentist appt. 

i took a late lunch and went to fajen lumber in elk horn because they had a sign that said "50% OFF Christmas Items" and i went and browsed around their gift shop only to be disappointed. when someone puts a sign out that says something is on sale, it should mean what it says damn it. not that i need more snowflake and snowmen decorations, that's not the point! everywhere in the store were signs saying, this is not on sale, blah, blah, blah. if they want to get ride of it before christmas, the smart thing to do is have it all on sale so you don't take such a big loss when christmas is over. duh. i did however buy a snowman ornament that was on sale and a gift bag that was not on sale. i would have bought more, but you get the drift.

when i went back to the office after my lunch break...mel was there! she is the funnest boss ever. i love her taste in music and she cracks me up, she listens to the british version of american idol on youtube and they really do have talent there. it's not just to get people to watch the horrible ones like americans version. usually ever week i do a "looking back" section in the paper. i hated doing this at first, but now i look forward to it. there's something about reading a 1928 newspaper and reading the events and community information that was happening. it gives you a sense of nostalgia. i finished up work and left for the day.

sometimes i stop by my parents house to say hi to them and the kids, but this week i decided against it since everyone has the flu. i don't need it. i'm usually sick for the holidays and i'm trying really hard not to get sick this year and taking my vitamins.

we i got home i started in on my list: make dinner; vacuum, laundry, wrap presents and make more reindeer food(it's a snack mix that matt it obsessed with).

matt wanted to celebrate me being alive and him not going completely crazy for three years and we decide to make one of his favorite meals... homemade salsa and taco bake. he agreed to help me a little. we enjoyed our dinner in the living room for a change and watched this show on the speed channel where you guess how many seconds it takes a car to get to the finish line. i suck at guessing and matt is usually pretty close to the time. there are a few "guy" shows that i watch but i usually ask to many questions and he gets irritated. 

after dinner i got started wrapping gifts. i don't want matt to help me with this job...ever! i have OCD and it brings it to the max when i wrapping stuff. he's not a good wrapper. although he did help me get the supplies and gifts organized. he wanted to wrap one and he chose his brother dan's. let's just say it isn't pretty...but it's done. i finished around 11 p.m. to realize i only got 2 things crossed off my list. bummer...but i'm thrilled i got everything wrapped and organized. 

i decided to take a shower and be done for the night, except when i was in bed i just started sobbing so heavily i got out of bed quick so matt wouldn't notice. i had so many emotions come over me when he mentioned it'd been an long three years and... i just couldn't take it, so many thoughts went rushing through me i didn't even see that coming. whoosh. as i sit here and type this i'm crying. i've been through so much in the past three years from recovering physically, emotionally and spiritually. i think the emotional recover has been the hardest. i really am not the same person i was. and at such young age that's hard to adjust into. sure i want to go to the bar and get shit faced and go to clubs and be a social butterfly...but the truth is...i can't. well, i could...but that would be suicide. not everyone may understand that my brain injury is in a location that alcohol would have a deadly effect on me. sure i can taste a drink, but that's it. my relationship's with family members are not the same, my marriage is not the same, my friendships are not the same all because i'm not the same. this obviously has been easier for some people that others. maybe that's why certain people don't talk to me any more... maybe they don't like the person i am now. i miss the old me, but i'm starting to get used to the new me and liking what i see. i'm not wanting a pity party, i just wish somethings were different in my life. after all, doesn't everyone? for those friends and family members that have stayed by my side and haven't treated me any different, i can't thank them enough. that's what i need(ed). that's love. true love.

more tomorrow...

december 21st

today's picture is of a few nap sacks that i made for our nieces and nephews.

went to church today and it was the christmas program and church got out early and i went home to change into something more comfy. 

matt had done none of his christmas shopping. surprise, surprise! i finally got him talked into going to atlantic and getting it done. we went to walmart for a few things and then he was getting crabby because of all the stupid people and we decided to go to some shops that were open on sunday afternoon. i'm glad we did, he picked out some good gifts (or should i say i did and he approved them). 

when we got home i had to get the nap sacks done that i am making. they don't take that long, so that's a big plus. i was so thrilled when i got them ALL done. it took most of the evening to do it. then lydia stopped over and dropped off a picture she wanted me to alter and clean-up for a christmas gift, so i got that done and i think she'll be pleased.

i don't even remember what i had for supper...

then i started watching a movie called regarding henry. it's about a guy that has a brain injury and has to learn stuff over and he forgets a lot. it's a good movie, but i didn't get to finish it. i will monday or tuesday though. 

then i read a little before bed.

more tomorrow...

december 20th

this picture is the result of a long and tiring day.

i woke up this morning and wanted some cereal. i had the cereal poured and to discover there is no milk. now i just bought some milk thursday and could not figure out how it could be gone already. after some thinking i discovered the lady at walmart didn't give it to me (or maybe i didn't grab the bag?) but this happens a lot. that store makes me so pissed. i try not to shop there. i prefer hy-vee. so, i didn't get cereal. now if i was living with becca, she would tell me to put water on it. i would rather lick the door mat. 

i had to pick lydia up at the library around noon to go to her house and bake some holiday goodies. we did this last year and i was so glad she asked me to help again. it's an all day process. this lady can bake like it's her job! she has always done this with her family and her family lives in massachusetts...so it's a little hard for them to get together and bake. i hope it can be come a yearly tradition for us. beth was going to help but she was sick, she helped out last year. we missed her today!

i had to break away from the baking for a few hours and babysit for a friend in elk horn. it was her husband's christmas party for work. i babysat from 6 to 8:15-ish. natasha came with me to get familiar with gideon (the little boy) so she can babysit sometime. he is so much fun. and this kid is smart. his mom and dad are amazing parents. this kid isn't even two and he knows basic sign-language. he's not deaf, they've just been teaching him sign-language since he was a baby. it's fun trying to figure out what he's saying with his signing. it's easier to distinguish now that he's talking now. he just makes me smile.

when i was done with that i went back to lydia's to help her bag the goodies up on plates. that didn't take long and i was home around 10 p.m. 

on saturdays before i go to bed i try to lay out my church clothes so i don't have to in the morning. so i did that and went to bed around 11. i'm looking forward to the christmas program during church tomorrow!

more tomorrow...

december 19th

today's photo is of matt's "baby truck" stuck in a snow drift and i had to pull him out with the durango. that was crushing to his ego.

i woke up and started eliminating things on my to-do list. i love lists, they give me sense of accomplishment for the day when i get to cross something off.

i started with laundry. i got all but the towels caught up. and folded. laundry is my least favorite household chore to do. it's the same thing over and over... sort...washer...dryer...fold and put away. then the next day, the same thing. ugh. laundry makes me crabby.

i then tromped to the post office in the snow to mail the christmas cards. i would have drove, but i would feel really lazy since i live on the same block as the post office. it was cold and icy so i chose to walk in the yard instead of the sidewalk or street where is would be easy to slip. 

today is also my niece courtney's 11th birthday. i thought it was her 10th birthday, i don't know where time goes. but i got her a guitar shaped bulletin board that you can slide pictures in and a couple of cd's too. she's not going to have a very good birthday this year because everyone in her family has the flu right now. hopefully by sunday they'll be better and we can all somehow make up for it. i always love being a part of each one's birthday.

i love making things for my nieces and nephews. this year i decided to make them nap sacks. it's basically a fleece blanket that you can fold up and carry it as a bag. i'll take a picture when they're all done. i have 10 to make. usually i would be done with christmas stuff but this year i've been behind a bit. i should be done by sunday. so, i spent most of the day sewing and watching or rather listening to movies. 2 from netflix and 2 from the library. my fave out of the four would be what happens in vegas. it has ashton kutcher and cameron diaz in it. good movie.

matt interrupted my sewing for a little bit by coming in the house to inform me that he needed to borrow the durango for a little bit. i followed him and saw that the truck was stuck and laughed. i ran back to the house and grabbed my camera. i'm going to start a photo album of all the stupid stuff he does.

i must have read a little in a new book, christmas letters, because it was on the bed saturday morning. my medicine kicked in fast, i guess. now i have to start from the beginning because i don't remember what i read.

more tomorrow...

december 18th

my picture today is of the two styles of christmas cards i'm sending this year.

ah...i finally got to sleep in today! 

i went to atlantic with my mom to get some grocery extra's just in case we can't go any where for a few days with the winter storm coming our way.

my mom took me out to lunch at the china garden. gosh i love that place. 

i checked out a few movies from the elk horn library on our way home and i plan to do nothing productive friday and get some business cards made and maybe some brochures. oh, i guess i better do some laundry tomorrow too. i guess that does sound productive!

i cleaned the kitchen and did dinner dishes while i listened to the ice hit the windows.

i finally finished my christmas cards that i'm sending. i really like the designs. of course, they have to do with snowflakes... that's my usual theme. while i was finishing up the cards i had the joy of listening to make sing some larry the cable guy christmas songs that he received on a text. he also sang random christmas songs, i guess he's in the christmas spirit.

lilo is doing better. she's not fully healed though. she tries to get us to play with her, but we can't. she doesn't understand and she must think we don't like her anymore.

i finished up the day with a few episodes of friends. i enjoy netflicks.

more tomorrow...

december 17th

today's picture is of me and dylan.

i don't work on wednesdays and i did my mom a favor and took dylan (my nephew) to the orthodontist in carroll. i had a dental cleaning appointment in audubon, so driving a little further wasn't a problem. he's growing up so fast. he's 13 and in seventh grade and lots of fun. he loves music and we jam out to everything from oldies to country to rock. we stopped at subway and had some lunch before i took him back to school. it was kind of late in the day because both dental offices were behind...go figure. 

i did some laundry when i got home and more business planning.

matt and i ordered some pizza from casey's. we decided to be adventurous and try a different kind of pizza. it was cheeseburger and we added some pickles to it and it was yummy.

we finished up the evening by watching a show on discovery... time warp. it's pretty cool and it's a show we both like, which is very rare.

we then went to bed and i read a bit. i'm currently reading "other wised engaged" it's an easy read and a pretty good book.

more tomorrow...

december 16th

today's picture is of matt coming in to warm up from scooping the neighbors sidewalk. please, take note of his facial hair. ugh...cose, nate and matt are having a contest to see who can go the longest without shaving. the goal is may 10th.

moving on... i woke up late today. which means i was a little late for work. good thing mel doesn't really care. she was getting worried that i was being panicky about the road conditions. but i'm doing pretty good.

we finished up the paper around 1 p.m.. it's a little later than usual. usually we get done around noon. but it's fine. now i won't get to see her until next monday. it makes me kind of sad working two days a week but i'm still learning to except things i can't change.

today we hooked up our wireless internet, or i should say i did. i'm amazed by it. it feels so weird being able to sit in the living

room or going down to my studio and use the internet. 

i have bible study on tuesdays  in elk horn but this week's was canceled due to the weather. next week we're having a get

together with some munchies and a few movies or games. i can't wait! the ladies in the group bring so much to be inspired by to the group and to learn from. they rock. we range from 23 to 55-ish. i'm bad at guessing age. 

i finished up the day with some reading.

more tomorrow...

december 15th

i decided my picture memory is my christmas tree. it's a snowflake tree. i love snowflakes. not all of the snowflakes are on it and i'm missing a beaded snowflake garland that i bought after christmas last year on sale. i need to find the box of missing decorations!

here it goes...if you don't like my "proper punctuation" and "proper english" stop read now. i type as my thoughts come to me. get over it.

my days usually start off the same. shower, eat breakfast while my vehicle is warming up, and drive to work. i won't repeat this each day unless something exciting happens.

once i was at work (at the danish villages voice in elk horn, where i have worked for two years) i could tell my boss was upset. so, we talked for a while and i feel bad because the damn paper hasn't sold yet.

i went to lunch at the pear tree cafe in kimballton. if you've never been there you should go. it's yummy. it's basically like cooking your mom or grandma would do. i had baked potato soup. it was freezing yesterday and a perfect day for soup.

the work day went on and i must say it rocks having mel as a boss. she's funny. she's honest. she's beautiful. she's talented. she makes me smile when she's trying to get inspired on writing and cranks the music and dances in here chair or around the office. i bring her sugar cookies from casey's once or twice a week. they're her favorite. i swear, the ladies at casey's must think i'm a piggie every time i go in to get cookies. but really, they're not for me. i don't like sprinkles.

anyways... the work day ended and i went home to my lilo doggie. lilo was diagnosed with some kind of disc disease last monday. and the vet has her highly medicated and she has to be kenneled for 2 weeks. now if any of you know our dog... you will realize that's it's impossible to kennel our hyper dog. well, we tried and she opened the kennel. she's to smart. we decided to make her a "little nest" in our kitchen. she got out of that one too. ugh! i want her to get better and she's to stubborn. but she is doing better compared to last week. my prayers are being answered.

i did some photography stuff and matt came home after helping cory move a huge tv. and he made me dinner for the past two nights so i guess it was my turn. i thought it was gross but he loved it. and i made "reindeer food". it's chex cereal, peanuts, pretzels, marshmallows, m&m's and then you coat it in almond bark. yummy.

my night finished up with me trying to scare the hiccups out of matt and lilo thinking it was a game and trying to get us to chase her. she's was pissed when we ignored her. she's supposed to be still! she doesn't get it. oh, i also had to help my internet illiterate husband trying to find a tool online.

more tomorrow...

just a little early...

i've decided to make a goal for a year. it's not a new year's resolution, just a fun goal. i thought it would be fun to take a random picture every day for 1 year. pictures of whatever happen to be going on that day... sort of like a picture journal. but i will also keep track of what i do each day and then maybe i can figure out how my time could be used differently or maybe i already use my time wisely. you can help be the judge of that. since it's not a new year's resolution i decided to start it now, after all...now is as good of time as any. right? (i'll post my picture for that day the following day...if that makes sense.)i decided to do this before i decided to go into the photography business. so, i guess that's news to some of you reading this too. yep, it's official. i'm starting a photography business out of my basement. {studio m} photography is the name. i'll be doing this for a couple of months in my basement to see how it does then, i'm looking into buy a building for a studio. i'm so excited. matt, my family and a few close friends have really supported me emotionally in my new adventure. that's all til' tomorrow.